March 2012
2 tags
if it rains the whole day i’m going to destroy everything i come in contact with :-)
snookidoughicecream:
In other news, an 11 year old girl was kidnapped today. Authorities say she was (Taken with Instagram)
jzul:
have you ever seen a bear with no fur
now you have
joshishollywood:
I told her i luv her blog
no promo
Mom: LET'S GO I'M READY
: 10 minutes go by
Mom: are you ready yet?????
Me: I've been standing at the door waiting for you for 10 minutes
Mom: Ok I just have to pee and change clothes and water the plants and feed the dogs and cook dinner and swim the english channel
me: why am i so funny
me: i don't know
me: *laughs*
me: *sighs*
quinnisgay:
It’s just a show.
It’s just a show.
It’s just a show.
It’s just a show.
It’s just a…
spacegroceries:
why did i divide sin by tan?
just cos
lolinternets:
I’m allergic to effort
wake up: exhausted
12 am: exhausted
3 pm: fucking exhausted
5 pm: really fucking exhausted
7 pm: about to pass out
bed time: the energy of 5 million condensed suns
February 2012
0 posts
t0uko:
why was 6 afraid of 7?
seven was a registered six offender.
commanderinqueef:
breaking the ice with “our genitalia will soon come in contact”
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: I'm late?
Teacher: You just missed an entire period..
Student: Are you telling me I'm pregnant?
too lazy to function
girl: i'm not jealous
whos that bitch that posted on your wall
cant you see shes trying to tear us apart via the internet
she commented on your picture
she liked your status
who is she
why are you friends with her
whats her name
have you ever made eye contact with her
is she cute
why did she add a smiley face
dont lie to me
i can tell shes a slut
tell me you love me
step one: take out homework
step two: reward self with two hours of internet for getting that far
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.